Lettuce At ‘Em

My flippancy yesterday regarding the state of the courgette market is more serious than I realised.

There’s a story on the BBC News website that bad weather has ruined the European courgette harvest, which means that when courgettes do appear (every time you are near), they will cost more.

That, coupled with Brexit meaning Brexit, means that the spiraliser will have to be retired to that cupboard where you put things like the cheese toastie maker (until, that is, you really fancy a cheese toastie and then you discover you threw it away years ago) and things of that nature. Steamer. Juicer. Bread Maker. Probably one of those air fryers if we had one.

The price of courgettes will be so amazing that companies will spring up – “Cash 4 Courgettes” and the like – offering you excellent prices for your unwanted veg. Like all those ones for gold that you see nothing of these days. Mainly because the television adverts are basically all life insurance, PPI and funeral plans. Oh, and Park Hampers because January.

Also on the hit list are peppers. I need peppers for something this week. I’m not hopeful. If only for the fact that they are neither an apple nor a potato and so are unlikely to be stocked by Tesco in the first place.

I mean it’s got so bad that in some cases lettuces are being imported from the US. Because, you know, unless it’s on a burger they don’t know what to do with a lettuce. I can only assume that this is just the tip of any sort of trade agreement that Boris Johnson and his president elect hair twin have discussed. I assumed it would be a much more industrial-based thing, rather than the lightest of all salad vegetables, but hey I guess things have to start out small.

Even if it does mean that the US is benefiting from climate change – something that Trump has claimed is entirely made up by the Chinese to drive their businesses.

But we aren’t importing Chinese lettuces are we?