No Need To Ex-Plane

The other day, for reasons unknown even to me, I clicked on the “News” tab on my start menu.

I don’t know what I did it. I can’t really explain it. Partially, I suppose, I was curious to see if it’s full of as much flim-flam and codswallop as the “News” tab on my phone, and partly because it’s right next to the Xbox button.

So I was presented with a menu of news that my computer thought I would like. Based on me having told it entirely nothing about what I like. Plus, I don’t think there would be an option for only showing me stories in which researchers have poured money into something ridiculous – for example, could Batman really glide on his cape? (no) or would Spider-man be able to scale walls? (no).

So I just got the all you can eat buffet of news. Trump, Trump and Trump obviously. Some more Trump. Something Kardashian. You know, the usual. And then I struck gold, as the news app trickled into the realm of partial click bait. Not full on “look who has died that you didn’t know about” click bait, showing a picture of someone you know full well is not dead. But click bait that tells you nothing, but carries an accurate picture to entice you.

This one was “photographer catches amazing photograph of plane” or something like that. And there was a photograph of a plane. So far, all the boxes were ticked. It was accurate.

When you clicked on the story – mainly because you couldn’t understand why it was in the news section (and, as you will see, still can’t) – you were treated to a story about a plane that was captured flying incredibly low to the ground as it came in to land.

Just take a moment to think about that.

Think about it.

Keep thinking.

There you go.


Planes have to fly low in order to land.

What with the land being quite low to the ground. You could even say that it’s literally ground level. So while it was amazing that a photo had been taken of a plane flying low to the ground. It wasn’t that amazing when you considered it was currently landing. If it had made its entire journey just skimming the tops of some rose bushes then, yes, that would be a bloody amazing tale.


But it hadn’t.

It was just a plane.


Like planes do.

Low to the ground. With its wheels out.