Splish Splash She’s A Washin’ My Path

Have you ever had one of those days when all your neighbour wants to do is wash your patio, but you’re not actually wanting her to do that?


Come on, you must have? Surely it happens all the time?


Just me, then.

The scaffolding has been removed from next door today. Nothing has been smashed – to be fair, there was very little left they hadn’t already trashed – and it’s all done and dusted. I can set to work re-stringing washing lines and start the mammoth task of emptying the shed out for the annual Spring move-everything-out-then-put-it-all-back-athon.

And now I can do that on a patio which is cleaner now than it was before the scaffolders came and destroyed everything.

Our next door neighbour has some sort of OCD when it comes to things like this. She cuts the grass with nail scissors and spends hours and hours going over it with the mower. She washes her patio a lot. Usually at the expense of any washing we have in the garden. And, today, she was off her rocker with cray-cray because the scaffolders had left her in a right old state.

And then she felt the need to tidy up our garden even though she “shouldn’t be doing this, they hould, but… you know…” I saw her through the frosted glass of the kitchen door. I couldn’t work out what she was doing at first, but it turns out she was sweeping up the mud that had been left.

Except, and here’s the thing, I had put that mud there about five minutes before when I tipped up one of the pots which doesn’t seem to drain to let some of the water run off. I was happy to leave it until it was drier and then sweep it up. But it was bugging our neighbour too much.

So she rinsed everything.

“I was just wondering if you wanted me to wash your patio down?”
“No, don’t bother. It needs more than just a rinse. I’ll sort it out.”
“Are you sure? I was just thinking I’d run the hose along here… and just rinse away this mud. Because if it dries it will just blow into your house when you open the door…”
“Okay, I’ll get the hose…”


Even places the workmen haven’t been.

I mean, she’s flooded the garden. You need a dinghy to get down to the bottom of the path, where I need to go to do the washing line. But hey, at least the patio is clean.

And the best bit of it was, it wasn’t even her water she was using. Or ours. It was her neighbour further up. She just hooked her hose to their outside tap and went to town. I sincerely hope they’re not on a meter, because she must have run up a good few pounds if they are.

Maybe I’ll let them come and look at our new water feature to make up for it.