In Hiding

I spent a good portion of the day today creeping round the house trying not to make any noise. I considered, but stopped short of, moving around below the level of the window because that seemed a bit excessive and the privacy bush is coming nicely into leaf.

The reason for my Anne Frank-esque actions was the presence of the scaffolding men in the street. They were taking down the scaffolding from all the houses that have been accidentally covered in some of the insulation that is also inside the walls. Not next door, obviously, she got them to come early by telling them she had mental problems and that she felt like she was in a prison because all she could see was bars.

Now, since the erection of the scaffolding resulted in widespread destruction of our garden – pots, washing line and paving slabs – our neighbour has been trying to get the supervisor to come round and offer some kind of recompense for the damage.

We are not that bothered. We’re more bothered about the fact that they told us they broke one pot but actually broke 4 and never even mentioned the paving slab. But that’s all. Nothing that needs the supervisor guy to receive almost daily texts from our neighbour on our behalf.

And so given that there was a small car with the scaffolding logo on it I assumed the supervisor was in the surrounding area. And because every time I have left the house for the past week or so I have been accosted to find out if he’s been in touch, I decided laying low was the best thing to do.

So I had to do quiet things. I watched TV at a low volume, although almost gave the game away when I chuckled at “This valley is Squatchy” as I discovered a previously untapped vein on Finding Bigfoot of a lunchtime. I had a soup without croutons, lest the crunchy bread cubes give the game away. I boiled the kettle away from the adjoining wall.

There’s a lot of work that goes into hiding. I don’t think it’s really appreciated.

I couldn’t go upstairs because the sound would be heard. Luckily the scaffolders all left before it got to a point where I had to consider how the hell I would go to the loo without going upstairs, so that was okay. And when I have been outside this afternoon, I’ve just run from the door to the bin and back again, on tiptoe, trying not to stand on the back doormat as it makes a bit of a crinkly noise.

I think I’ll be able to resume a normal life in another couple of days – there’s still some scaffolding on the back of one of the houses, weirdly. So they’ll clearly have to come back.

Once that’s done I’ll be able to make noise again.