Super Grass

The other week, because we are such rock and roll people, we were watching Gardener’s World and a fascinating feature about lawn care.

We have one lawn, it’s in the front garden and is primarily used by the feral children as something to kick their footballs onto. Our street surrounds a sizeable grassy area, but the kids are not allowed to play on that because of cat shit, or something.

Anyway, our lawn is made up of 87% dandelions, 8% grass and 5% bare soil. It’s not the best lawn. Although I have looked at other lawns on the street and it’s not the worst either.

Our aim is to return it to green grassy glory.

So I started that process today, by removing some of the dandelions. I couldn’t take them all because even the ones I did left the lawn looking like some moles had got pissed and set about trashing the place. If I’d taken them all out I wouldn’t have had any lawn left to stand on.

The feature on Gardener’s World showed the guy neatly cutting around it with a knife. Life’s too short for that sort of crap, I was in there with a trowel digging for all it’s worth.

And I gave the lawn a good rake. Which revealed how much of it was bare earth, worryingly. It was like turning a fan on someone with a comb over. AreasI previously thought to be luxuriously grassed were quite the opposite.

Still a bit more excavation and rakery and we can fertilise and reseed it all and make it sexy again. And the bestbit about the seed-fertilise step is that you’re advised not to walk on it during this bit as stuff may adhere to your shoes and possibly stain or discolour carpets etc.

Oh I really hope the feral children manage to stay off it…