Good Show, Food

The Good Food Show is good. I mean, that’s probably obvious otherwise it would just be, at best, The Food Show. Maybe The Adequate Food Show.

We’ve been going for a good few years now and have got the whole thing down to a fine art.

There are many pitfalls when you first visit a show like this. A lot of them drew us in in our first year and now, as seasoned pros, we don’t bat an eyelid.

Magic knives, whisks controlled by the power of your mind or that use the Earth’s rotation to properly make pancake batter and stretchy lids. These are the sorts of things you might be drawn to. I made the whisk thing up, but there was a whisk there that worked by you pumping the handle up and down like a spinning top.

But you have to ignore these things.

Stretchy lids, for example, are all well and good but ask yourself how often you feel the need to turn a jug full of liquid upside down. And then, realising you never need to be able to invert a jug, ask yourself “would cling film do the trick?”

The answer, to steal from Ancient Aliens, is yes!

We are in a slightly enviable position in that we know precisely what we want. And we go for it. Today, for example, was sausages, cheese and brownies (lots and lots). Other things happen along the way – sauces, dips, jams etc. But for the most part we are clean and clinical. We draw the line at, say, honey so expensive each jar could only have been produced by a lone bee, made of gold.

But our approach – get in early, get round and sample things, buy things, collect things and be gone – means our visit only lasts a few hours.

And means we avoid the throngs of people all fighting to get a cocktail stick into a chunk of cheese. Or a breadstick into some pretentious minimalist pesto. Because those people are rude and obnoxious and won’t move for anyone. Those people don’t tell their children off for draping their spindly arms across the tops of all the smoked fish, both squashing them and causing a slight rise in temperature due to the presence of a child’s arm. Those people would kill you with a straw if you came between them and a free sample of something they never had any intention of buying.

I really enjoy avoiding those people.

Almost as much as I love the brownies…