Nuclear Sky

There’s a couple of things – massively self-congratulatory things – that I have noticed through the medium of the Sky News App this week.

On, or maybe the day before, the 20th anniversary of the death of Princess Diana the News App (and probably by extension the website) ran an article on a number of various different journalists and what their reactions to the accident were. In and amongst those, in fact top-billing in the article, was Kay Burley. Because there’s always Kay Burley.

Kay described her reaction to the news, and what she did. In minute detail. Even twenty years later she can remember every single thing she did. And then she basically credits herself with singling out Candle In The Wind as being the song for Princess Diana. In much the same way as, when Sudoku was the thing, Carol Vorderman was all over it like she’d invented it or something.

And then tonight, Sky is self-congratulating themselves on having something to do with Scottish Parliament’s plans to bring in some sort of ruling on the sale, use and whatever else of plastic bottles because single use plastic bottles are bad, something which Sky has been banging on about for a couple of months, but which the world in general has been banging on about for a while.

And that is currently the top news story.

Yaay, Sky News. You keep on fighting the good fight.

Don’t worry about the fact that we’re teetering on the brink of some sort of nuclear skirmish because Donald Trump is doing all his diplomatic work via the medium of Twitter. Bloody Twitter. One hundred and forty characters to piss off North Korea a bit more and, in a masterstroke of genius, alienate China quite a lot. Someone should really take his bloody phone off him and smash it in front of him. I want to see one of those shock “parent takes away child’s [insert electronic device here] and what happens next is…” videos but with Donald Trump sucking his thumb and rocking as someone drives over his phone, repeatedly.

I mean, then he’d just whip out another one and laugh like Nelson the bully. Ha ha.

But hey, at least when all the world’s oceans are radioactive and the fish have three eyes like the one in The Simpsons, there’ll be no plastic bottles floating in and amongst the irradiated carcasses.

Well done Sky.