I’m going to say it.

I don’t like Rick & Morty.

I find myself, again, like the kid in the Emperor’s New Clothes. I’m standing in a crowd full of adoring people looking bewildered because I just don’t understand what I’m seeing.

I’ve tried to like it. But I just don’t get it. I think I must be missing something. I certainly wouldn’t get overly excited when a new season drops or something. I might be reasonably happy if Netflix removed it, but other than that I find it hard to conjure up any sort of emotion.

And now, since I’ve watched it, Netflix shows me things based on the fact that I have watched Rick and Morty. I can’t trust those things. Not based on the current evidence presented to my eyeballs, certainly. It’s like the “People who bought this also bought…” bit at the bottom of an Amazon page. You start to wonder who these people are. And, more importantly, if any of them live close to you and whether you’ll be able to move anytime soon.

I liked Community. So I have shown an affinity for Dan Harmon’s stuff before. But.. but… no. I don’t understand it. I just don’t… I can’t even… no. I’m still on season one, before anyone starts berating me, so maybe it gets better as we go on and the characters find their feet or something but I can’t find any characters I like as yet. The closest I’ve come was Morty’s dog.

And that only lasted for an episode.

I am going to keep watching it. I’m not going to bail out. If I’m going to dislike it, I’m going to put in the hours so I can legitimately say I dislike it. So I don’t come up against anyone who says “but what about the bit with the…” and then they laugh because it’s hilarious and I feel like I have to now watch that bit. I want to be able to say “Nope, saw that. Hated it.” I’m British dammit. This is the way we do things.

It’s exactly what I did with Westworld. I watched that all the way through and thought the whole thing was horseshit – simulated or not. Everyone thought it was the second coming. Except me. Just me. Alone. Like Will Smith in I Am Legend. In a world where everyone else was fascinated by the convoluted story lines and Thandie Newton’s massive nipples.

So I’ll do the same with Rick & Morty. I already know I’m watching it wrong because I’ve not yet come up with a fan theory about how Rick and Morty are the same person or how it’s all a simulation because Rick knows it’s a TV show or…

It’s just a bloody cartoon people. It doesn’t need to have layers. It just needs to be an entertaining way to pass half an hour. Or twenty minutes if you’re in an ad free environment.

But I still don’t get it.