I’m Not Sure That Mean What You Think It Does

We received a leaflet through the door yesterday which, I think, quite possibly doesn’t say what the people who designed the leaflet want it to say.

It’s from a property company and is one of those leaflets you get when a company is on a bit of a roll, selling wise, in your area. It’s encouraging you, through the power of anonymous mailing, to sell you house because – clearly – there is a huge demand in the area for houses. As though you wouldn’t think about selling your house – or getting new windows and/or doors – without someone coming to your house or pushing a poorly written piece of paper through.

We have, recently, had several window companies calling by because they are “just in the area” doing a lot of work. By rights, everyone but us must have new windows and doors. Because they are doing that much work in the area. I’ve not seen them doing any work anywhere, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t doing it right now this very minute. They always ask me how old the door is. As though a) I know and b) care. Because tempting as it would be to have all new windows and doors there’s the added thrill of them being in this house. They’re probably held in with sticky tape and children’s wishes.

Anyway, this house sale leaflet proclaimed, proudly, that it had sold and agreed sales on this property recently. This property. As in the one they’re putting the leaflet through the door of. I’m not sure that’s what they mean. Because, surely, as the people who live in the house, having a sale agreed on this property recently should probably have been run by us. It’ll get awkward when the new owners turn up and we’re just sitting on the couch watching TV, flummoxed by the whole thing. And they’ll be like, “Didn’t you get the leaflet?” and we’ll have to explain how we didn’t realise this poorly worded marketing campaign was legally binding.

But if it’s not this property, then which property is it? How do I know to be impressed or disappointed in their selling skills? If it’s the generic new build that’s on the leaflet then I’m not that impressed in all honesty. And if it’s one of those, then why the hell do they want a terraced house that may or may not be built primarily of good intentions with a liberal dose of flour paste.