A Model Application

The one thing about signing up with about a gazillion jobsites is that you are encouraged to get job alerts sent to your email on a regular – daily – basis.

These are, as the name suggests, jobs that the sites have listed which fit the criteria you have entered for what it is you want to do. They are, therefore, tailored to fit you.

I got one for a female model.

Every time one of these slips through – which has happened a couple of times – I am less convinced that there is actually an algorithm in place behind the scenes of these websites. I think it’s possibly a little bit like any kind of machine in The Flintstones – inside the workings of a job website is actually a small, aggressive and bored bird who just pecks out different jobs as and when it feels like it.

I suppose, given that this is 2017, I could have applied for the role of female model. And, had they turned me down on the basis of being neither a female or a model I could have sued them for discrimination and been interviewed on This Morning, sold my story to The Sun and generally milked fifteen minutes of fame until the inevitable call came to say that I could be on the next series of Big Brother.

But, obviously, that’s not that case. I didn’t apply. I just laughed at the email, read the advert and moved on. Except that by reading the advert I’ve now planted the seed further into the algorithm machine/angry bird. It now thinks that is a field I am looking at. I’ve had a further one saying that a model was needed for a wedding shoot, involving – bizarrely – a pyjamas section.

Again, this wasn’t for me. But, again, I read it because I am just that sort of guy. And the pyjamas thing made me laugh because that’s one aspect of the perfect wedding scenario you never hear people banging on about – what PJs they’re going to be wearing, if any.

But, again, reading the ad has meant that the site has registered another potentially interested datapoint, which means I’ll probably get more. And I know I’ll read them because I like to see if I can determine whether they are legitimate modelling things or just a seedy man trying to acquire themselves a potential victim.

Not that I would know what a legitimate modelling thing looked like. Although I did once walk past a man taking pictures of a young girl in a fancy dress on the beach at Lytham St Annes, so I definitely know what the seedy side would look like.

Anyway, back to the looking…