Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

I’ve reached an age where a nap on a Sunday afternoon has become the norm. I’d like to put it down to the fact that I was up and about until nearly two this morning, but it’s primarily because I have inherited my dad’s genes and can just happily nod off for a bit at the drop of a hat.

Unless I actually need to sleep, that is, then all bets are off and I’ll lie there staring at the dark ceiling.

I didn’t even intend to have a nap this afternoon, to be far. I’d just cobbled together a stew and stuck it in the oven for a couple of hours pre-dumpling-ing to cook and fester and generally become delicious. And I just lay on the couch for a couple of minutes.

And then an hour and a half later, Carole woke me up by loudly declaring that I can sleep through anything.

Apart from, it would appear, Carole loudly declaring that I can sleep through anything. And Carole once slept through an earthquake so she has no room to talk.

The anything she was referring to was the hip-hop beats emanating from our beloved next door neighbours. I didn’t even particularly notice them as I was out like a light on the couch but Carole had earplugs in, earmuffs, a hat and a pillow taped to her head (ok, slight exaggeration) so clearly it was quite loud.

But I find that if she knew I was asleep which, let’s face it, she will have done because my snoring is a force to be reckoned with, then why did she position herself in the centre of the front room to wake me up to tell me that I could sleep through anything? Why would anyone do that? Apart from the inherent joy of watching someone jolt awake because they have just had the absolute shit scared out of them by someone needlessly waking them.

She literally just woke me up to tell me that I could sleep through anything.

Because then she went back upstairs to her photo album assembly project and asked if I needed to be woken up to do anything with the stew or whether I had an alarm set.

Or she woke me up to ask me if I needed waking up.

Either way it’s cruel.

Even if it was just a power nap.

She’s fast asleep upstairs now. I might nip up and wake her to see if she needs anything….

Mwah ha ha ha