Toe To Trump

trumpheadA few things have surprised me today.

There’s the fact, for example, that when I got up this morning my damaged toes were the best shade of purple I have ever seen. But now, when I am in a position to wave them in people’s faces and go “Look! Look at my purple toes!” they are in no way purple. They’re a bit red. And that’s it.

I think, inadvertently, the fact that it’s been quite cold today has acted as an ice pack for my tootsies and calmed down any swelling, throbbing, pain or bruise formation. I am genuinely gutted. More so because I didn’t take the opportunity to take a picture of it this morning and a) post it to social media or b) send it to everyone I know in exchange for sympathy.

The other thing that’s surprised me is that a poll has revealed that Donald Trump is the least popular President in modern times.

Now, to clarify, what surprised me isn’t the result of the poll. It’s the fact that someone deemed it necessary to carry out a poll in the first place. As though there could be any sort of doubt. I assume the research was carried out by the Centre For The Bleeding Obvious. They tend to do a lot of these things.

They’re probably the same people who have noticed that there has been an increase in terror-related arrests in the UK in the past twelve months. Which, again, was bleeding obvious when you consider that there has been an increase in terror-related incidents in the UK in the past twelve months.

Which, by coincidence, the least popular President in recent times – according to poll data – puts down to all these Muslim no go areas that even the police are terrified to go into. He’s due a visit to the UK soon, so maybe he’ll be taken to some of those areas just to see how terrifying they are. After all, he’ll have a lot of free time since he’s not doing any of the State Visit stuff because no-one wants him.

It’s just as well they did a poll to find out who was the least popular President. It’s not like there were any signs pointing to who it might be.

If they’d done the same poll in Russia, though, it’d have probably come out more favourable…

#allegedly