There’s A Cat In The Kitchen, What Am I Going To Do

The new kitten a couple of doors down has formed something on an attachment with our garden. We think it’s because our garden is the only one that is festooned with pots, and has bushes and grasses and goodness knows what else that a small kitten can bound about in quite happily. For hours, in some cases.

She’s also, however, taken a shine to coming in the house as soon as the door is opened.

Not that we are bothered, obviously. Because she’s adorable. But it would be just our luck if she crawled under our cupboards and went to sleep behind the cooker. It’s one thing for your own cat to do that, but when you’ve essentially imported a kitten – accidentally – it’s not the best thing in the world.

And contrary to what anyone might tell you, I didn’t spend twenty minutes in the garden – once I’d convinced the kitten to leave the house – playing with her with a cat toy on a long swishy stick. I mean, that is totally not something I would do. In the slightest. No sir. Not at all.

But if I had done that, I would have said that it was one of the most entertaining twenty minutes I’ve had for a while. You forget how entertaining small cats can be until you start messing around. She’s there flying through the air trying to catch the faux bird on the end of the line, and she’s accidentally catching bushes or being distracted mid-jump by a falling leaf or an insect flying by.

And then when the fun and shenanigans has finished. When you think it’s time for you to leave her be and go back to your day-to-day business, you realise you cannot get in the house without having a small furry shadow. I tried to get in three or four times but even standing right next to the door I couldn’t do it quicker than her. She’s like a super-charged ninja. One minute she’s not there, the next she’s in your house. Trying to eat the food that is definitely not designed for kittens.

In the end I had to pick her up and carry her to the bottom of our garden, distract her with a bouncy ball, and dart into the house. We don’t have that many bouncy balls. We can’t keep doing that. And, I suspect, she’s going to wise up to what I’m doing when I position her at a distance from the house. Not to mention the fact that she seemed to be having a good study of the working of the cat flap today. But, luckily, appears to not have the strength to open it.


Pretty soon I reckon I’m going to be contending with a cat that is not ours trying to sleep on my laptop…