SnowPocalypse

I went into work this afternoon, to lock a couple of lovely people in the dungeon.

When I left home, it was sleeting. It had been hailing and raining on and off throughout the day, but not with any great lasting effect. When I arrived in town, it was damp but clear.

I went into work, set up for the game and marvelled at the sound of hail slamming into the windows. It was like a constant stream of tiny ice bullets being blasted at the panes of glass. I didn’t think that much of it, though.

And then I went downstairs to open the door and wait for the team to arrive…

And it was a winter wonderland out there.

Oh and absolute bloody chaos.

It was about half past four at this time, but what had obviously happened is that everyone has seen the hail coming down and settling and had suddenly all decided that they needed to go home. Straight away. Like right now.

And then they all decided, collectively, that they would drive like nobs. But there would be different level of nob depending on the type of car and, indeed, type of number plate. If you hit the jackpot of BMW or Merc with personalised number plate you could almost guarantee that you would be able to watch them almost kill themselves or others with their ridiculous driving skills.

I watched a BMW gun its engine like mad, causing the back wheels to spin with no purchase whatsoever. Literally no other car was doing this, they’d all set off slowly from the stop brought about by traffic lights and they were all fine. The BMW, though, was doing so badly that a man in a taxi stopped and told them what to do. And also to get off the main road and take a different route.

But you know you’ve crossed a line when you’re being told how to drive by someone who drives a taxi. Taxis, as we all know, do not adhere to any of the road laws or regulations as we understand them. They do not have to use correct lanes, lights or indicators. They do not have to adhere to speed limits. The only rule that a taxi has to follow is that it must have a fully exposed Magic Tree in the car and the radio must be tuned to something terrible, but loud. Other than that they can do whatever the frick they want.

And yet there they are, telling BMW drivers how to drive. It was amazing. It’s the sort of thing that people make “restores faith in humanity” videos about on YouTube.

It was a highlight in what was an otherwise embarrassing moment for the country, proving once again that we can’t cope with a teensy bit of bad weather. Whole towns should not become gridlocked by a bit of hail. Traffic around town was still insane at 7pm – some two and a half hours after the hail had come, and some two hours after most of it had melted anyway.

It’s snowing now. We could wake up tomorrow to upwards of 3 or 4 millimetres of the stuff.