Yakity Yak Don’t You Hack

Sometimes I like to sit and think about what’s happening in the world. Not the big things. Not the disasters and wars and insane school shootings. Just the little things. I like to sit and wonder, for example, what the people of India are up to.

I know what they were doing on Wednesday.

They were going out of their way to access my Steam account.

I have a Steam account. It’s no big deal. I don’t play games on my PC but I have purchased a couple when the time has been right and they have tickled my fancy. So I am the proud owner of a turn-based strategy Shadowrun game and another in which you pretend to be a hacker typing complicated instructions into a console and stealing money and secrets from underhand corporations.

I understand precisely one of these games. The hacking one baffles the crap out of me, and I haven’t played the Shadowrun game since we got a new laptop.

But still, I have Steam installed just so I can see it constantly updating every time I switch it on and so it can annoy the bejesus out of me by telling me constantly that a controller has disconnected if I happen to use the PlayStation Now service on the PC. Or, it can open stealthily in the background of said PS Now games and really fudge up their performance.

But still, it’s my Steam account.

And India wanted it. By jiminy did they ever.

Steam is set up so that it knows where you are. You set your home country and things of that nature. If you move, you have to update these details. This is how it knows where you are, or where you should be. And why it can spend a whole morning sending you emails every few minutes telling you that someone in India is trying to access your account.

They didn’t get in. And, eventually, after I’d made some bread and done some other stuff I got round to the important job of changing my password. Which I’ve done. And it’s really calmed down the Indians as they don’t appear to have had any attempts at accessing my account since.

But I can’t imagine how saddened they’d actually be if they had been able to get into it. They’d have found an almost empty wasteland. A couple of games in my library and no saved card details whatsoever. It’s like the thing about eating celery burning more calories than it gives you. These poor people had spelt all morning trying to hack my account and they’d have got absolutely no reward. Well, they’d have got access to a game about hacking but that’s like working in a bank and coming home and playing monopoly every night.

Part of me feels bad that I have stopped them. Maybe all they wanted was some suggestions of things to play that have been available for several years. Maybe they wanted to look down my wish list and wonder why I have even set up a wish list because I don’t play games on the PC anyway.

Maybe they wanted to steal all my information and get up to all sorts of mischief with it. Although why you’d start with someone’s Steam account is a little bit baffling.

Whatever, I stopped them. I stamped out crime right there and then. Well, after the bread and whatever else. And ten minutes of looking for the link that would let me change my password. And then verifying the email that would then let me change my password. And then…

I went through a lot of hoops to stop them.

Probably more than they were going through to try and get access to my stuff (or lack thereof).

I mean, really I did it because I was fed up of my phone buzzing every five minutes with another email listing another potential attack. It wasn’t so much the thought of identity theft or whatever that spurred me into action. It was just the sporadic vibrating of my phone, distracting me from my day to day business.

It’s true what they say, hackers can ruin lives.