Cars And Vans

What we learnt today, if nothing else, is that you can confuse an Amazon Delivery Driver and get them to hand over a package if you’re just sitting in a car outside a house.

I mean, it was a parcel for us, our car and our house, but still. I don’t remember putting anything on the delivery instructions that said “give it to the crazy woman in a fleece who is just sitting in her car warming the engine up for no real reason.” And yet, there he was just handing it over to her.

Today was, of course, the traditional day on which we have to make sure the car starts after a few days of snow. Traditionally it doesn’t start. And we have to work out when the best time to get the AA out would be without having them come out to sort the car out when we have no intention of going out. We did that once, and it felt like we had committed some sort of evil deed. The most evil of evil deeds. So now we pre-empt the need to call them out by finding out if we need them a few days before we’ll need them.

The last time, Carole flooded the engine because she panicked at a noise. So this time she was uber-scared about doing anything and I had to sit outside in the car with her so she would feel reassured. Because I know EVERYTHING about cars. EVERYTHING.

I don’t have a clue.

I mean, a funny noise is a funny noise is a funny noise. I don’t know. It could be anything. We could have a cat in the fan belt for all I know.

As it happens everything was fine today and I was allowed to come back into the warmth while Carole sat and waited for the temperature gauge to creep up a bit. And it was then that she leapt out on the Amazon guy, snaffled the package and got back in the car.

I’m not sure that whole exchange fills me with huge amounts of confidence. If you know the name of the person in a house, you could – quite easily it would appear – intercept their Prime deliveries and make off with whatever it is that they’ve asked to be delivered in super quick time because it’s their girlfriend’s birthday on Monday and they are panicking.

It’s just the one package though. The other one was supposed to come yesterday but I got an email saying it couldn’t come because of weather or some nonsense, so it will arrive eventually. In a few days. Or whatever. You’d have thought it would have come with the same little man in the van as the one that came today. But apparently not. There must be a series of delivery people that they call on like picking which pod Thunderbird 2 is going to use.

It’ll turn up tomorrow.

No-one’s in.

I hope someone’s outside lurking in their car.