A Series Of Small Walls

There’s nothing I love more than a bit of garden tidying on a damp, cold Wednesday afternoon.

I mean, there is. There are lots of things. But try as I might, I couldn’t pretend to not notice the large white carrier bag that made its way across the front garden and became ensnared in the rose bushes. I tried. Believe me. But when you look out of the window and you think that your plants are surrendering, you have to do something.

There was also the small matter of a teeny collection of cat poop to deal with as well, fun as it is to leave it in places that – if they play as they normally do – next door would almost definitely roll their football through it. But, again, it’s not something you can ignore. So I went out to deal with that as well.

And in the course of doing that, discovered that we apparently have a marked out, curved flower bed under the front window. I’ve lived here for ten years, Carole’s been here longer. Neither of us knew that.

But, yeah, it would appear that we have a small stone wall – well, certainly a barrier – which has been living below the surface of the soil. I’ve uncovered some of it, but the privacy bush is in the way and I don’t want to cut that back when the Beast From The East is set to make a return. But there’s a definite structure to it – it’s too consistent to be any sort of random arrangement of building rubble or whatever.

It’s somewhat intriguing.

It’s like a Time Team find. They loved their small walls. Ideally I need Victor Ambrus to come and draw what he thinks it will be based on the smallest shred of evidence. I can then take that as gospel and choose to not carry on with the excavations.

It makes me wonder what else is buried in the front garden.

Specifically in that spot that drops down below the level of everything around it. What could that be? Should I start digging there and see what I can find? No, no I should not is the simple answer because I think we all know how much this house loves to throw up surprises. Where the houses are used to be a quarry or some such nonsense, so knowing my luck that bit of the garden is above a cavernous hole that is only plugged by the soil and grass of our front lawn. Or an old abandoned mine shaft. Something bollocks like that.

I know it isn’t. It’s just a dip that has never been filled in. It’s probably from the fact that the lawn used to be one of those that had a bush in the middle of it for no reason and when ever the bush people moved out they took it with them and the grass has just reclaimed the hole. I mean that’s more likely than anything else but it doesn’t pay to do too much investigating round here. It’ll probably turn out that the lovely curved wall I’ve uncovered is stopping the foundations of the house caving in or something like that…

Put it this way, I won’t be surprised when it turns out to not be what we think it is.

It’ll turn out just to be some rocks placed atop an open sewer.

That’s the way things work round here.

Or a hellmouth.

I wouldn’t rule that out.