Panic Buying

I think that tonight I’ve possibly seen the scariest side of Carole I’m ever likely to see.

At least I hope so.

Because it was quite terrifying.

I have never seen her so focused, and yet frantic. So agitated and tense. So flustered.

She was shopping in the Next Sale.

It’s her first time dabbling with the exciting world of a pre-booked slot to do your shopping in. She has spent the day preparing for it. She’s come home from work with a list of things that she needs to get, all the item names and applicable codes so that she can just bang them all into the search boxes in double quick time and try and get everything she wants. As well as a ton of stuff she doesn’t want but is getting anyway so she can send it back afterwards.

She’s not as bad as her work colleague who has a SPREADSHEET for when she does her sales shopping. But I fear that’s only a matter of time. Although Carole is a bit crap at making spreadsheets so maybe we’ll be safe for a little while longer and will just have to rely on handwritten notes which will be clutched in her sweaty palm until her allotted shopping window.

Hypothetically, of course.

We had to mute the TV. It was suggested that I might have to leave the room – I didn’t, but there were a few moments when I wished I had. There were to be no distractions while she whistled through all her chosen items. And then all the chosen items of one of her friends as well because why wouldn’t you use your pre-booked slot to do the shopping of all and sundry as well as your good self?

And when she’d done the shop for things she wanted, there was then the shop for things she wasn’t even really interested in but had to look at because they were on sale. Because they’re they best things, the just because items. When you’re just buying things for the sake of it. I used to do that with HMV when I was at University. I couldn’t leave without buying three things. Usually videos because I’m that old. But whatever, that was the way of things. Always three. And the third was always something I didn’t really want but was just getting to make up the numbers.

Which I’m sure is what Caz was up to as well. I don’t know if she bought anything in her final sweep. I heard a lot of “ooo, that is nice” or “that’s awful” or “why does everything have frills on them?!?” but I didn’t dare ask as to the current state of the basket because then I’d end up in a conversation about whether something looked nice or not.

And that’s not or me. Not at all.

I just need to know when it’s all done with.