Tapping Out

I think somewhere deep in the recesses of Carole’s psyche, she’s been unconsciously influenced by Home Alone.

Not in the way she leaves stuff all over the place, like Kevin, in order to trip up and injure hapless interlopers. Or boyfriends who aren’t ready for randomly placed boxes to come into contact with bare toes.

No, Carole has been influenced by the Wet Bandits.

This never happens when she’s staying at home, but if she uses the hot tap in the kitchen before going out she will always leave it running.


I could be out, or upstairs, and when my journey takes me into the area of the kitchen I will always hear the distinctive sound of water running.

It’s not a lot of water, luckily.

I know this because the other day she left the tap running while the plug was in the sink. Through no design or forethought, just riding on coincidence’s coat-tails, the amount of water leaving the tap was just below the amount if water the sink overflow could cope with.


It was having a bloody good go at escaping the sink and slowly wending its way across the work top, but gravity was on our side.

Neither of us can work out how or why she does it. I know she’d quite like a new kitchen so there’s a strong chance it’s an insurance job but I’m sure that’s not the case.

Well, almost sure.

It’s not even like it’s a leaky tap. It’s more like she gets bored towards the end of turning it off.  She claims it’s not running like that when she leaves it. As though she’s being framed for a crime she didn’t commit. But what other explanation is there.

Aside from the house providing a constant string of surprises. Or a poltergeist who is very specifically tap-based. Can’t do cupboards banging, but can trickle a hot tap in a marginally annoying fashion.

All the times I tell Carole not to wash up because I’ll do it aren’t based on chivalry. They’re just based on a desire to not have to swim to the kettle in a morning.

Unless she’s reading this, then it’s totally the chivalry thing…