Sighed, Sealed, Disfigured

I think it’s fair to say that our bathroom has been the source of much consternation over the past number of years. I was reminded, by Facebook, of the scene eight years ago when we (I) thought we could just remove the existing tiles, which had been painted over and looked crap, and put new ones up and it would be like having a new bathroom but with a fraction of the effort.

Facebook reminded me of the picture I took of the bathroom as we took the tiles off and they, in turn, removed the plaster from the walls.

Bloody Facebook, bring that back.

And then it stayed like that for ages until we got the bathroom done by charlatan plumber extraordinaire Matthew Shuttleworth who basically stitched us up big time, making up obscene costs for things (who can forget the “expensive” bit of kit to fix the join into the sewer line, which turned out to be some kind of plastic joining stuff which hooked into place) or just flat out trying to con us with much, much cheaper versions of the stuff we’d actually asked for. Oh and all the lies about how he’d put the pipes in the walls, which he hadn’t, so the walls then had to be smashed through to get pipes into. Basically, he was a massive prick. Probably still is.

Anyway, Facebook reminded me of all that with its “We thought you’d like to look back feature…” I have no idea what Cambridge Analytica will have made of that picture, but I’m sure I’ll find out in time.

That was the other day. Today I was back doing things in the bathroom because the ball needed resealing, again. It was sealed by the plumbers, poorly, so it leaked down the walls into the kitchen whenever anyone had a shower. So I resealed it. Which worked perfectly but the seal had started to go manky so it had to be changed.

I will say it looks really nice and neat now. That’s a win for me. It was an absolute twat to do. What I have discovered about sealant is if you want it to come off something it won’t, but if you really don’t want it to come off it will be lose and flappy within seconds.

It operates on much the same lines as a post-it note: the adhesion of a post-it is inversely proportional to the importance of what is written on the note.

Could I get the old stuff off the bath? Could I bollocks. And when I got it loosened, would it come off in satisfyingly long strips thus making it easy to do and to maintain a clean working environment? Would it bollocks.

But it looks good now. And I know it was a job well done because, as my father taught me, you should always draw blood on any job. And I did. I successfully scraped my bare leg across the sharp-pointed sealant removal tool. I may have called it an absolute fucker. And if I did, loudly, I apologise to anyone who heard me. But it really bloody hurt.

But still, the new stuff looks really nice and neat and I’m very impressed with my handiwork.

I mean, no-one can wash for about 500 days until it’s gone off, but at least it’ll look good during that time!