One of the things I enjoy the most about doing an online shop comes about an hour or so after it is delivered. We’ll be sitting on the couch, or in the kitchen, and Carole will say “Did you order me…” and then spew forth a long list of items which she really wanted to come in the shop but neglected to tell me about.

It’s a pretty regular occurrence. Most weeks she’ll rock up with a few items that I didn’t get her. I’m made to feel bad about it and yet I wasn’t furnished with the facts.

This week, for example, she needs shampoo. Now, I happen to know that she needs it because I found the empty bottle which she abandoned in the sink. She hasn’t told me yet, though. I have ordered it. But that’s really not the point. I’m almost tempted to hide it and act innocent when asked about it.

But then, did she leave the shampoo bottle out for me so that it would then become my responsibility. Because she knows it is me that gathers up bottles and things of that nature to put into the recycling. I’m the one that rinses them out. So should I fail to order such items, the blame would fall upon me because I will have been the one who collected the empties, so I should have known.

This morning I woke to find an almost empty tube of toothpaste in the sink. I’m now not sure if the bathroom sink isn’t operating as some sort of passive-aggressive shopping list. I’m just going to find the empty shells of things that are required in there now, and it’s up to me to interpret Carole’s needs.

It’s because Carole is a big fan of going off book. When we used to do physical shopping, as opposed to the people-free virtual world I prefer to shop in, we’d have a list but we’d spend a lot of time not getting things from that list. I don’t think Carole can cope if it’s written down. Don’t get me wrong, she loves a “to do” list with an almost unholy passion. But a list of things we need, meh, that’s just guidelines. It’s that list, plus anything else you fancy.

I’m doomed from the start.

Let’s see what I’ve forgotten to order her this week…