Partly to mix things up a little bit, and partly because we were massively unprepared when it came to sorting out a shopping list, we had the shopping delivered at an unusual time for us.

Instead of our usual Saturday morning, bright and breezy delivery, we have – for one week only – dabbled in the joys of a Monday evening one instead.

A slot between 8 and 9 at night, to be more precise.

Amongst the things we had ordered were some boodles. Which, as the name suggests, are Butternut Squash noodles. They are a good substitute for noodles or spaghetti or any other food you might wish tasted more like butternut squash. Much like cauliflower rice is a good substitute for real rice if all you want to experience is grainy cauliflower and amazing flatulence the next day.

I’m not a fan of boodles. They reside firmly in Carole’s camp. I just stick with real noodles, spaghetti, rice or whatever. Courgetti is, so far, my only concession to this making a vegetable into something else fad that we’re currently experiencing.

Anyway, the shopping came. And alongside the usual quagmire of substitutions was the dreaded “short dated items”. These are items which don’t have particularly long dates on them from the point of delivery. The boodles were listed.

Boodles aren’t a best before food. Boodles are a use by food. Best before foods you can happily chow down on at a later date and they might be a bit crappy taste wise or whatever. Use by foods are the ones where you are highly recommended not to eat them past a certain date. Mince, and things like that have use by dates. And so do boodles, it turns out. Basically a big box saying that your gut probably won’t enjoy the experience if you dabble in the ingestion of these items past this date. Or, to put it another way, what’s the point of eating a meal if it’s just going to leave your body in a freakishly hot flow of crap?

We had three hours, from deliver, to eat our boodles.

I mean… what? Who packs this stuff? Who’s picking and packing the shopping, looks at the order details and thinks “oh, delivery by 9pm? They’re totally going to be knocking up an elaborate meal as soon as the delivery’s done”?


No-one bloody normal, that’s for sure.

You know, if it had been a dangerously close to turning pack of sausages, I might have taken them in and cooked them up. Because cold sausages are amazing. That’s just a fact.

But you can’t really do that with boodles. I mean, they’re nasty – I think – warm. So you wouldn’t want to cook them and have them cold later.