Quantum Squirrel

It thundered, briefly, today. And lo, the rains did fall.

I was at work, locking people up for fun and frolics. Today was noteable for bringing us the first hen party to turn up with an inflatable penis. I’m genuinely stunned it’s taken as long as it has.

It’s quite warm at work. I might have mentioned this before once or twice. I tend to fling all the windows open to let the air flow through the rooms. Sort of.

When the rains came it brought a welcome break to the ridiculously muggy air. For a little bit, anyway.

You don’t expect, though, to look out of your open windows to see – more-or-less at eye-level – a squirrel hiding under the leaves of the tree trying to keep dry.

I’ll be honest, it was unbelievably cute. It was one of those snapshots of nature where, if you’re in the right place at the right time, you get a glimpse into a world you don’t normally see. My mum, for example, got to see a hermit crab changing shells purely by chance about 25 years ago and she remembers it still.

Anyway, soggy squirrel in a tree. Me looking at it, it looking at me.

Probably only one of us was thinking, “Well, I don’t know what I’ll do if the squirrel runs along the branch outside the window and hops in to keep dry.”

It didn’t.

But I did lose track of it after the rains passed. It was running about like a loon. It might be inside. I mean, it probably isn’t. But it could be.

I usually tell people there are no wild animals, as I lead them blindfolded into the Dungeon. Am I going to have amend that? Start saying that there might be a squirrel kicking about. There probably isn’t. But there might be.

I’ve never seen it before. And I’ll probably not see it again. But now I have seen it, it’s like my own Schrodinger’s cat. Is it in here, is it out there?

It’s undoubtedly out there.


But it’s hard to forget that a few months ago butterflies descended from the ceiling…