Like A Kiss From A Rose

You know when you leap out of bed excitedly because you have a job to do around the house and you just can’t wait to do it?

That was me this morning, apart from the leaping and the excitement part.

I have been tasked with resealing the bath. Again.

Honestly, I think I have resealed that bath more times than we ever resealed the old one. Ever.

Due to the unique way in which the bathroom was put together, things don’t go how things should go. I, personally, would have started the tiles just a bit lower than the top of the bath so that I could get a lovely seal when it came to applying the silicon sealant. You know, rather than putting the bath in and then slapping the tiles on above it and hoping for the best. But then, I’d have also plastered the ceiling before putting the tiles in because, as it stands at the moment, our ceiling plaster extends lower than the top of the tiles.

Obviously, none of this is too much as a surprise as we had Yorkshire’s worst plumber doing that bathroom for over three months. You can’t expect miracles.

So the bath is prone to leakage if the seal is not right. It wasn’t right when they first did it. It leaked like buggery. I made it right. Then the seal I put in to make it right fell foul of discolouration and mildew, so we took it out and replaced it with a sexy strip thing. Which looks the fricking business. I bloody love it.

It’s shit for actually forming a working seal, though.

It’s great if you want to form a little channel for water to trickle through, though.

So today I was meant to reseal the bath. I had a cunning plan – I still do – to combine the sexy seal strip and the sealant I need to apply into one killer application. Because a) it looks sexy and b) I don’t have to go down behind the taps if I can pull it off. I’ve even looked up how to do sealant properly because normally I end up with more sealant on me than anywhere else.

I was primed and ready.

I went outside to the toolbox to get the sealant gun thingymcguffin, burning my feet on the patio in the process because it’s fricking hot.

And the bloody thing has rusted solid.

It looked like I had just dug it up out of a field. Like an ancient artefact the Romans used to seal their baths.

I can’t even begin to get my head round how that happened and yet nothing else in the toolbox seemed to be any the worse for wear.

If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I would have just said that I was just making shit up so I didn’t have to seal that bath and end up looking like a small child who’s just squeezed out an entire tube of toothpaste, just because.