Ok Computer

If there’s one thing that Carole’s not good with it’s technology. She likes the idea of it, loves the idea of it in fact. But the application can leave something to be desired.

She can take the fastest computer on the planet and within a day or so it will be running ridiculously slow, but only for her, and there will be no known explanation. Every computer that has entered this house has gone the same way, its microprocessors slowed down by some inexplicable reaction to Carole’s very presence.

It’s truly a mystery.

She’s just recently got a new phone. She’d had her old one for ages and it was, of course, insanely slow. So she’s got the latest Samsung thing, I think. And, for once, she’s taking to the internet to learn how to use it properly. No longer is this a case of a phone leaving the factory with all its hopes and dreams, only to end up in a situation where it cannot live up to its full potential. This phone is going to shine. Things are going to be amazing.

She’s started with the Google Assistant. Which she is slowly integrating with as many apps on her phone as she possibly can.

What they don’t show you on the adverts for the Google Assistant, Siri, Alexa or any other home robot lady is this:

“Ok Google…. OK GOOGLE!…. GOOOGLE!”

Which is the three levels of desperation as you try to get your home robot lady to listen to you.

It’s not quite the magical world of Star Trek where you can just say “Computer…” and ask it anything. It’s very much the magical world of you think this is quicker, but really you’d be better off just typing in your request. At least then you wouldn’t be alone in your living room shouting at a phone.

She sent two texts to me, using the Google Assistant, while I was sitting next to her. Just because she could. It’s not all going to get old really quickly.

Most frightening, is that she’s integrated the Google Assistant with her To Do List app, which means she can now just add things to the To Do List as she thinks of them, wherever she is. Provided she has enough time, of course, to shout “Google!” until it pays attention.

Carole’s picking a task and then looking on YouTube for a “How To…” video which explains what she wants to do, watching that, then trying to do what it did while forgetting salient points of the video. She’s also doing this using videos recorded by a heavily-accented, and fast talking, Indian man. For some reason.

I bet Google knows the answer, maybe I should ask it…