And you COULD DIE

As we’re back into the warm and muggy nights after a brief respite of maybe one or two nights of acceptable temperatures for sleeping, it’s time to sleep with fans blowing at all parts of our bodies throughout the night.

And this is beautiful. Once you manage to ignore the noise of the fan and drift off to sleep it’s lovely. The gentle caress of the breeze keeping your skin cool and meaning that you don’t leave a sweaty imprint of yourself on the sheet, undersheet, mattress and bed frame.

But experts have spoken out about the dangers of fans left on while you sleep.

Actual real life experts.

Experts.

I love an expert.

Because whenever experts speak out in the media it’s all stuff that is, basically, absolutely fucking obvious. Or guess work. It depends on the situation. During the Thai cave rescue thing, the rolling news channels drafted in a number of experts to speculate about what would, could and should be happening. It went from people who understood diving, to retired cave rescuers and stopped just short of people who have once been in a cave. I have been in several caves. I could have been on there and said stuff about rocky conditions and darkness and they’d have lapped it up.

But the fan expert is not such an expert. They are the doom and gloom experts. The ones who are sure that everything can and will kill you if you give it half a chance. You know, knives are sharp say experts. A bird’s beak could sever an artery if it pecked you at just the right spot, with just the right force, say experts.

Those experts.

Killjoys and arsehats.

These experts have said that sleeping with a fan on can be bad for you because… wait for it, and please make sure you’re seated… the fans move around the air.

I know, right. Fans move the freaking air, people.

What the actual fudge.

This movement of air can cause dust or pollen to be moved along with it and if you suffer from allergies or asthma you COULD DIE.

This is the world we live in.

There are experts explaining that fans blow stuff about. It’s probably these experts that lead to the downfall of those fans that were operated by someone pulling on a rope to waft a big leaf. Blows stuff around, that does. And a leaf. Geez, pollen for days mate. You want to stop that. YOU COULD DIE.

And yet the experts don’t address the real issue issue of sleeping with a fan on. It’s not the dust, or allergies. It’s not the fact that it causes your body’s moisture to evaporate quicker than normal so you could wake up and find that you are just a pile of dry dust in the morning which, in turn, will be blown around by the fan (it does that you know) and other people COULD DIE.

No.

The real issue, the one that gets no coverage, is that sleeping with a fan on all night can properly dry out your bogeys.