A Very Big House In The Country

I’ve accidentally done some tradition at-home-during-the-day activities today. By which I mean I have watched one of the many, many shows on offer in which some people want to live in a different, better place. And the best way to do that, obviously, is through the medium of television.

I hate these shows.

I can just about tolerate Homes Under The Hammer. but that’s a different breed. On that you’re looking at people who want to invest in property but have no idea how to invest in property investing in property that they have not seen before buying it and then massively going over budget trying to fix it. Or not doing anything with it at all in the time since the auction because reasons. Or, in one case, having their new flat constantly broken into and vandalised because ne’er-do-wells were nipping up the scaffolding and being scallywags.

I’m more focussing on the likes of Escape To The Country or whatever today’s was – I think it was something like “I Want To Live In Australia And I’ve Told Everyone I Know In Real Life So TV Is The Best Way To Annoy Everyone Else About It”.

You’d think, after the economic crash of 2009 or whenever it was that the bank I used to work for brought the world to the edge of a moneyless precipice that people would be more, I don’t know, responsible about things. After all, look at every single bank advert that you see these days which is all about how much they care about people and not just sales and profits… which is obviously massively believable. And so responsible.

But not these shows.

They start with a family who say “We have a budget of £X” and proceed to show them a series of properties that are generally all over budget. And they always want to buy one. At the start of the show they’re saying that they really need to stick to the budget, but as the show progresses and they’ve had all these gold-plated carrots dangled in front of them they’re desperate to spend money over budget to buy these houses.

The one this morning, they were adamant to not go over their quarter of a million pound budget and the second house was over that and they were ready to spaff all their money – including an amount they did not have – all over it. Just so that the kids could talk to mummy in a morning and the adults could get pissed round a swimming pool. The show also seemed a bit arse-backwards as well – day one saw them find a house, day 2 saw them look into the possibility of work.

Daytime TV has a lot to answer for…