While The Caz Is Away…

Carole’s having a long weekend away. She’s currently camping in the Lake District with her sister, hanging out on her parents’ boat and generally having fun.

I am at home, watching long-ago-recorded things in the Sky Planner, going to work and also having fun.

One of the joys of being home alone is that you’re able to do what you want – whether that’s stay up late, watch ten (yeah, ten) episodes of NCIS Los Angeles back-to-back in a mammoth binge session or just have an uninterrupted lie in, it’s all for the taking.

Normally, mornings are not a peaceful time in this house. Carole surfaces early whereas I do not. I did it for long enough when I was going to work in Leeds. Now I can just casually roll out of bed a bit later and everything is fine and dandy. The nature of my job leans more towards the middle to back end of the day, so accidentally waking up at about ten is absolutely fine.

And, this weekend, I can do just that. I can get up, more or less, when I want. All my shifts are in the afternoon and evening. I can sleep as much as I want and awaken refreshed and undisturbed.

Except for a) the cat


b) Carole’s texts. Which arrive early in the morning in a cacophony of buzzing, rousing me from my slumber. I get it. You’re in a tent. You get up when the sun comes up. I understand that. But we bought black-out curtains for the bedroom to avoid this sort of thing… let me sleeeeeeeep.

I read them when they come in, as they’ve woken me. I have to check it’s not an early shift at work, after all. But I don’t reply to them there and then. I’m not a fool. If I do that I’ll lose precious time that could be spent dreaming about, I don’t know, being on a bus that’s going to the wrong place or whatever recurring transport nightmare dreams I have on occasion.

Instead I store away the information that my response will be required and reply later, when I think Carole will be busy.

I know, I am a bad, bad person.

But I couldn’t honestly answer the question “how are you?” when I’ve just woken up. I don’t know. I’ve just woken up. If anything I’m a bit miffed I’ve just been stirred from my slumber, since you ask.

Instead, it’s better to wait a bit, sleep some more, and reply later with a cheery “I’m absolutely fine thanks.” And then follow it up with a “When are you coming home?” so you can plan when to start tidying up…