Notorious Big

I was at work, again, when the shopping was delivered. But, luckily, this week was not a repeat of last week’s Lego card-less shenanigans as I had fully briefed Carole on how many packs of cards we should get and that she was not to let the driver leave without handing them over. We are still waiting to hear back from Sainsbury’s Customer Service with regards to our missing cards and the upset and distress this has caused to our fictional children.

What most worries me, though, about this mornings shopping delivery is that the driver asked Carole where I was. Not by name, because that would be weird. Or even by saying “Where is he this morning?” He basically said “Where’s the big guy today?”

I don’t know how I feel about that.

Which is weird because a few years ago in Edinburgh an actual card-carrying member of the solvent abuse club that gathers in Greyfriars graveyard and takes substances in between the graves shouted out “Alright, big fella?” to me as I walked past and I sort of liked that. I mean, I sped up. But I still liked it. It was jovial and friendly and only carried the tiniest hint that if they weren’t off their tits on aerosols they’d have robbed me for everything I had.

But the Sainsbo’s guy asking where the big guy is… I don’t know. I mean, I can’t knock him because he’s showered us in Lego Cards this morning. You know, for the kids. But still, Big Guy is sad at being called Big Guy.

On the topic of Lego Cards, I managed to Derren Brown some extra packets out of the cashier today, somehow. I have ended up with more than I should have got, anyway. I don’t know how. I mean, I do. But I also don’t. But then, she was having a very hard time trying to understand the promotional Lego Groot that came with a copy of Infinity War so it may well have been that which led to the bafflement.

Either way, I have a lot of cards to put in the album now. Assuming they’re not all duplicates and I have to find some children to trade with.

Big Guy is hopeful.