It’s been a strange day today.

When I got up I had such hopes for the day. So many things I’d thought of doing. I was going to make bread. I was going to embrace a rare Sunday without any work (especially after my long day yesterday) and without any major responsibilities, and while Carole was out, to play games or binge some TV.

What actually happened is this, in a nutshell.


I got up probably earlier than I should have done, given that I didn’t get in from work until 11.30 last night and didn’t go to bed/sleep until sometime after one. But I had to get up because there were police cars on the street and the police peoples were wearing gloves so there must have been crime. It was very exciting. I mean, I say that. I wasn’t that exciting because it was further down the road where you can’t really see without standing conspicuously in the garden so I don’t know what was happening. But still, it makes a change.

So I was up.

And, I think, my body hated me for it because it sort of just gave up.

I was on the couch watching something. The next thing I know, an hour or so has passed and I’m watching something completely different. And then bam, the same again.

It happened a couple of times. I imagine that’s what it feels like to just leap through time with no control over what’s happening, because that’s more or less what I was going through. My day was vanishing before me, but I wasn’t moving anywhere. If I kept it up, I wouldn’t have been surprised to find Morlocks looming over me and dragging the sofa off into a cave.

I mean, the flip side of that is that I will probably struggle to sleep tonight now (he types, in full yawn) and the vicious cycle will begin again tomorrow. And it can’t because I have loads of cookery based nonsense planned for tomorrow. I can’t afford to fall asleep in my cooking. That would be bad.

It also means that I’m going to watch videos on YouTube that I think I haven’t seen, but which my brain will constantly tell me are incredibly familiar. The autoplay feature – where the next video starts about five seconds after the previous one – is a magnificent thing, but it can really mess with you head when you’re drifting in and out of wakefulness. I mean, I fell asleep to a video of a guy exploring an abandoned mansion and woke up to an entirely different string of videos about something else entirely. And, now, my recommendations page is based purely on what I watched while sleeping.

Unconscious me watches stranger stuff than awake me.

And that is saying something.