Yippee Ki Yay Mother Nutter

There really isn’t anything more endearing than returning home following a shift at work to find your mother watching Sky via the preview screen at the top of the TV Guide page.

And not thinking there’s anything wrong with it.

Almost 90% of the screen is made up to the Sky User Interface, a decent portion of which is the programme guide and it’s fine. It’s absolutely fine to watch TV like that. Like a crazy person would do it. Perfectly normal.

The woman’s an oddball.

I also came home and noticed that something was different within the home. I think she had been there for about an hour or so, give or take, entirely unsupervised. In that time she had made herself some lunch – which was fine, she was briefed on that. She had also located and eaten several ginger biscuits. And emptied the clothes airer and hung everything on the line outside.

Oh and ear-marked a bit of bush which needed cutting back in case the branch made a sudden grab for a pair of trousers which had just been hung on the line.

What’s really annoying is that Carole took a basket of ironing upstairs this morning in a bid to make the house look tidy for mum’s visit. But it we’d have left it downstairs we could have had all the ironing done as well as it’s clear that mother was running a surplus of energy which needed to be burned off.

The worst part of her visit – which was nothing more, really, than an invite for tea with the added admin of discussing powers of attorney – was that, like a child eager for Christmas morning, mum was excitedly waiting for Judge Rinder to start so we could watch that.

Judge bloody Rinder.

She never used to watch this sort of bollocks before her stroke.

What the hell has it done to her?

Clearly more medical research needs to be done in this field to help others avoid these terrible daytime TV pitfalls.