As has been mentioned before, we no longer have the pleasure of a privacy bush in front of our front room window. Which, as has been mentioned before, starts at about shin height for some reason – I can only assume that when it came to building our house, they got the designs mixed up with those of a high street shop and that somewhere there’s a Boots with woefully small front windows.
Today I was visited by one of those leaflet people. The people who answer the adverts asking for people with strong legs to deliver leaflets across an area the size of Antarctica for just over minimum wage. Those leaflet people.
I was sitting in the front room, perched and playing something as I waited the half an hour for my boiling water to become lukewarm water and thus allow me to incorporate it into my bread. It’s a tried and tested method with excellent results. But this blog isn’t about the baking. It’s about the leaflet man.
At the time he came, I was playing on the Xbox and Peppa had chosen that exact moment to climb fully onto my left shoulder and – so you can paint a full mental picture, just let me dip your brush into the imagination paint – pressed her little cat arsehole right up against my ear. I could hear the sea.
I assume that the man must have seen me as he approached the door with his leaflet. A leaflet, incidentally, which was folded so many times as to be about a centimetre wide when it came through the letterbox. I have never had a leaflet presented in this way before. I didn’t enjoy it.
Anyway, he must have seen me. Because he walked back down the path and glanced back. You know, like Clint Eastwood says in In The Line Of Fire,
“I’m a racist old man who really likes guns and stuff…” “If she looks back, she’s interested.” Well, he must have been interested, because he definitely looked back.
And when he got back to the pavement – which is not a long walk. We don’t live in one of those houses where it takes fifteen minutes to get down the drive. Yeah, he glanced back again. So he was properly interested. And he smiled. I think he stopped just short of waving. I don’t know what he found the most interesting – me, or the fact that I was currently functioning as a climbing post for a cat. Either way, he liked it.
I, on the other hand, not so much.
I missed the privacy bush.
But when I found out what the leaflet was for, I couldn’t help wondering if the actual delivery man was part of the whole marketing campaign. It wasn’t just the leaflet, it was a real-world advert as well. Like when companies set up elaborate campaigns and Alternate Reality Games to advertise products or generate interest in a thing. It had to be that.
Because the leaflet was for blinds.
I mean, it might just have been that the man was a bit weird – as if the leaflet folding wasn’t enough of a red flag – because he did just sort of hang around outside a house at the top of the road for a while before delivering a leaflet.
I suppose he could have been doing his elaborate folds, though.