I found a new way to completely remove cat sick from a carpet yesterday.

Just stand in it wearing socks. Bosh. Suddenly the cat sick is no longer on the carpet it is, instead, adhered entirely to your sock and you’re wondering why your foot feels damp and you look down and… oh god….

Sometimes when people discuss the way things stick to other things they will say, “like shit to a blanket.” Because shit is notoriously hard to remove from a blanket, I assume.

Well, I see your shitty blanket and raise you one cat-sick sock.

For starters, you have to get the thing off your foot in the least disgusting way possible. I chose to stand on the sock with my other foot and pull it off that way. This is something I have done – minus vomit – countless times in my life. Stand on sock, pull out leg, sock-free foot.

Could I do it? Could I buggery.

So I now know cat sick has a grainy texture from the little cat biscuits, which is nice. I also know the smell will linger on your fingers for a while. Again, nice.

I also know it takes waterfall-levels of water to shift even the smallest amount of the cat vom.

Triple nice.