Cake Expirations

Up to press, all I have had from Amazon with regards to yesterday’s nerd kit is three emails acknowledging my email. All with different response times on them.

By the time they come back to me that chocolate cakes is going to be as good as dead. Expired. Best before a time long gone.

We are a household who has been known, on occassion (mainly every Christmas) to open confectionary-based gifts we have bought for other people and eat them ourselves, replacing the present at a later date. It’s shameful, yes, but when you know there’s a chocolate orange in the house…

It’s almost the same with this chocolate cake. If I’d not said anything to Amazon about even having this bundle, I could be enjoying slices of Morrison’s finest cake. Many, many slices. And then be racked with guilt that Amazon would find out and have me whacked. Or worse, blacklisted.

Instead, we have to sit idly by while a perfectly good (I assume) cake just whithers and dies next to us. We are like the family gathered round the bed of a dying loved one, just waitibg for that last crumb to dry out and the final breath of moisture to leave the body.

The cake’s the only bit that’s dying. The noodles will survive an apocalypse and there’s so many preservatives in that energy drink that it’ll still be here when the sun expands and swallows the planet.

Obviously CoD is losing value with every day it’s out. Were I to take it to Game ir some other reputable retailer for trade in I’d probably get almost a fiver before they boshed it back on the shelf for fifty quid. If I took it tomorrow, maybe three pounds. By Tuesday it’ll be worthless.

Just like the cake.

It’s awful to see suffering like that and being powerless to do anything…