Dropped ’til You’ve Shopped

I think I’m done with shops for 2018.

Today – 17 days before Christmas – was, I think, breaking point.

I went to work and, as I occasionally do, I nipped into Sainsbury’s on the way. I was on the hunt for some orange and pineapple juice which is, currently, scarcer than hen’s teeth. I don’t know if there’s a problem getting the oranges or the pineapples or the bottles or what, but it seems to disappear very quickly at the moment and the shelves were almost bare today.

But I managed it. I snagged a few bottles and headed for the checkout.

To get there I had to pass:-

Some people playing flutes.
Two different groups of Chuggers.
Countless gormless people who were just bewildered by anything they could see.
Children, just ambling along, while their parents are completely oblivious to their locations.

I understand that Christmas is fast approaching but, my God, it was like there was some sort of full-on panic going on. I mean, it is the UK’s last Christmas before Brexit so next year we’ll be dining on wood shavings and weevil legs so maybe everyone is trying to make it a good one but still.

It was the gormless people that most worried me. Who goes to a supermarket with no clue of what they’re buying? Honestly? I mean, come on. Even if you were nipping in on the way home from work to pick up something for your evening meal you’d have a rough idea of what you were looking for – yes, you might change your mind, but you’d be in the ballpark.

There were people today amazed by almost everything.

All accompanied by tuneless flutes and the sound of people shouting “Tombola!” at anyone who walked past.

So that’s it. I’m done with shops. Bollocks to it.

I know Visa is heavily into this support your local high street campaign, but I don’t think they’ve really taken into account how many pains in the arse you have to negotiate on the local high street to support it in the first place.

There are still arseholes on line. Loads of the fuckers. But as long as you don’t read a review or a comments section, you’re generally fine. And if you do, it’s just people feeling the need to tell other people that they wouldn’t buy something. Because that seems to be what people do. In the future, people will look back on the internet and think it was just a giant digital home for people to exercise their sense of entitlement towards any product or service and/or to post ridiculous reasons about why they wouldn’t use said service/product.

But at least there’s no flutes constantly playing.