May Means May

It’s funny, this world we live in.

It’s going to hell in a handbasket. And people are noticing that. But unfortunately, the people in charge have their fingers in their ears and are singing “la la la la la” really loudly.

We, as a nation, have been told repeatedly for the past couple of years that Brexit means Brexit. No-one knows what that means, entirely, though. Because Brexit is basically unicorn wishes written on the side of a bus. But we have been told to go with it. And, as a result, next year is going to be bum-clenchingly awful as our money becomes worthless and we have to buy things with bottle caps.

People have spoken up against Brexit – in larger and larger numbers – over the past few months. People who voted for Brexit originally have said that they now realise it was a tremendous mistake. And the only ones really clinging to it are – and this might be a generalisation – arseholes. And people with enough money to know that they’ll be on the right side of the tithe collections as we slip back to medieval traditions.

Brexit means Brexit, though. And we can’t have another vote. We made up our minds two years ago, in a campaign filled with more disinformation that a game of Call My Bluff. All that money to the NHS? Somehow, despite saving all the money we normally send to the EU, we’re going to be eating dust and living from sun-up to sunset because we can’t afford electricity. So that was a big old lie. But we made our Xenophobic, Unicorn-Dreams bed and we must slumber within in.

Brexit means Brexit.

Two years ago, though, there was a leadership contest in the Conservative party. David Cameron, having called the vote for Brexit, fucked off as soon as the results came in, opening up the role to candidates far and wide. And they ended up with Theresa May. Others ran, and all dropped out. Theresa May ended up there, in charge of the complete shit show that was to come.

And now, Brexiteers are saying she should step down.

But Democracy has spoken, guys. That’s what you’ve been telling us. If we ask for a second referendum on Brexit we’re called Remoaners. Because we’re moaning about something that will affect EVERY ASPECT OF OUR LIVES FOR EVER. But when you guys say you want a new leader – who was chosen Democratically – you somehow don’t see the double standard in that…

Let’s play it like this – you get to choose a new leader for the Conservative Party. But we get to have another say on Brexit. It’s only fair. It can’t be one rule for us and one for a man who looks like a cross between Walter The Softy from the Beano and an off-duty Postman Pat.