I See Weather

At last the weather has turned and we can all enjoy that most special of Facebook moments – who can out-weather who.

It was cold today and with that came rain which turned to ice in some places. Some shared photos if icy windows. Carole’s sister sent a video via the family WhatsApp group of a flip-flop sliding along an icy path. You know you’re in trouble when the least grippy of all known footwear gets in in the action.

I went to work in it. I just left the house, got on the bus, went to town, went to work, did work and came home. I felt the need to share none of it with Facebook because really it was just cold rain. The pavement was a bit sparkly, like a unicorn had peed all over it, but other than that, nothing.

I rang Carole from the bus stop. She was worrying about the weather because she was due to go to the panto and, having seen a frictionless flip-flop, her hackles were raised.

I rang to tell her my findings in a neutral and unflapping way. A way cultivated from a childhood of living at the top of a hill, where winters were winters. And no-one ever slid a flip flop along anything.

Carole answered.

”Have you fallen?”

I mean… geez, woman give me some credit. And also if I had fallen why would I ring? How was she picturing me? Flat on my back in the road, phoning her for help? I don’t understand.

One time it was icy and I slid from our front door right into the side of our car. One time. Once. Ages ago. Apparently that is an experience which will follow me for all time.

Of course I hadn’t fallen.

I wasn’t wearing flip flops.