I’m sure, when I was younger, Christmas television was filled with wonder. Every day there was something – usually a lot of somethings – that I’d want to watch. A film, or a show, or just something.

It’s proper shit being an adult faced with the Christmas Radio Times though.

I mean, holy crap there’s a shitload of nothing on this festive season.

And no, this is not a rant about Doctor Who being on on New Year’s Day. As I’ve said before, I like that decision. But everything else is just absolute bollocks. There’s so little of any appeal. It’s just hour after hour of flicking, trying to find the least bad thing. And obviously part of that is the absolutely rigorous and exhausting task of making sure at no time are you exposed to even the smallest amount of Mrs Brown’s Boys.

Because it’s not funny.

No matter what anyone/everyone says.

It’s not.

It’s shit.

And it’s on all over the place.

But nothing else is.

I’m looking forward to my now yearly tradition of wanting to watch the Royal Institution Christmas Lectures – something I have done since a child – and then forgetting they are on and missing them all – something which I have done since being an adult! Every year I think “Oh, that sounds interesting…” because they generally are. And every year I forget them, miss them and generally don’t even download them.

This year I won’t be watching Dr Alice Roberts talking genetics. Even if it does sound interesting. It’s funny, though, that I can miss that with almost no effort, but you really have to work at it to miss that bloody Irish abomination.

They should do some Christmas lectures about why that is.

Not that I’d see it, obviously.