Puffle Huff

I work with someone who is very lovely. She’s adorably lovely, really. Her application for the job included the fact that she makes wands. So when I say adorable, I mean that you have to keep her sweet because making wands is probably only a couple of steps away from murdering you in your sleep.

As you may have guessed from the aforementioned wand-making, she is a bit of a Potterhead.

Sorry, a lot of a Potterhead.

She turns up for work with her Gryffindor backpack on, like a little Macauley Culkin who has been left by his family at Hogwarts and he’s on his first shopping trip. Her dog is called Sirius. I am unsure – as in I daren’t ask – if the dog is also her uncle. She refers to her car as a Firebolt.

Imagine how excited she was by the fact that our boss is called Tom, and she works at Stuck In The Riddle so she could enter his name in her phone as “Tom Riddle”. With snake emojis. Imagine that. I don’t have to imagine it. She sent me screenshots.

She’s a massive nerd.

Massive.

Tonight she made me take the Pottermore quiz to find out what house I am in.

I have never taken the Pottermore tests, dabbled in Pottermore or generally been anywhere near any of it.

I was forced to do it tonight.

So I did.

Fricking Hufflepuff.

I am so cross.

I had to do my Patronus and wand as well because, like I say, nerd. Apparently I did alright on them, despite her thinking I would end up with a salmon or something I’ve come out with a Bay Stallion. And my wand is made from stuff that’s considered unlucky but needs a strong wizard to use it or something. So yeah, I’m a kick-ass wand wangler with a special ghost horse.

But still.

Hufflepuff.

Me and that sparkly gitoid from Twilight.

She’s finding it hilarious how cross I am. I’m not.

She’s told me that it’s not all bad… after all, I follow in the footsteps of Newt Scamander.

But it’s still Hufflepuff. isn’t it.

It doesn’t even sound cool to say.

Mainly because it isn’t.

This would be like becoming a Power Ranger and then finding out you were the Blue one. Or being in Thunderbirds and being assigned to Thunderbird 5.

Hufflepuff.

2018 is ruined.