Jan 6, 2019: Eye-Tee

I’ve done my son-in-law-ly duty for another year.

Despite clearly adding a resolution regarding completing the year without dealing with anyone else’s IT issues, I found myself at Carole’s parents this morning, updating their virus software because I’m a lovely person and buy one that can be used on several machines.

It was nice to do it, actually, as a reminder of how god awfully slow Sky Broadband used to be when we had it. Actually, no, theirs was considerably faster than ours was. But it was still slow. You forget, when you have superfast interwebs, that not everyone has that. And watching a download progress for over three minutes, knowing it took seconds at home, is just painful. But it makes you appreciate your own things better.

Sort of like an updated version of walking a mile in there shoes.

But downloading a file on their connection. You should never judge. But oh my god.

In a way, though, I wish it had taken longer. I was done in whatever the slow broadband equivalent of no time is. But we stayed for ages. Ages. And only had once mince pie and a small coffee. It’s just not right,

And the tech onslaught is not done yet.

Carole’s aunt’s laptop is sitting downstairs.

Just looking at me from the canvas bag it currently lives in. Just begging me to crack its shell and dive deep into the horrors that I will find in there. Multiple email addresses, all configured incorrectly. Nothing working. Passwords long since forgotten. Servers long since dead.

When I boot it up I think I’ll be making a face similar to that of the young McAllister child when he tries aftershave for the first time. The terrors that the machine contains…

But I will.

I will dutifully sit and fix it. I will reconfigure things and strip things back and undo all the previous “help” that has been offered. As far as I can remember, the laptop has not done what they needed it to do since they got it. I remember fixing it once. All that has clearly unravelled.

I dread to think…

I might just leave it another day or so. At least while it’s here, under my supervision, no-one else can be creating anymore email accounts on it.

Can they?

Would they?

I think, if and when I fix it, I’m going to give them a picture of me holding up a sign that says “NO NEW EMAIL ACCOUNTS” as their background wallpaper.

And never tell them how to change it…