Jan 8, 2019: Snot

Today has very much been a kitchen-based day.

I’ve spent a decent portion of the day slaving away in the kitchen, cooking various things and devouring episode of Good Mythical Morning on YouTube. I’ve made a loaf of bread, a bolognaise and a leek and butterbean soup.

And throughout the whole thing I’ve been sneezing like a trooper.

I initially thought it was just my nose joining in on the fun from slicing onions, but as the minutes turned into hours I came to the realisation that I’m either allergic to myself or I have, again, managed to collect a germ from someone.

Spending the day sneezing, though, is annoying at best. Spending the day sneezing while cooking is twice as annoying. If not more so. Because you can’t just succumb to the sneeze as you might normally. You have to move away from things you are cooking, you have to be in possession of tissues for the whole catch it, kill it, bin it thing. And then you have to make sure you don’t touch any of the cooking surfaces on your way back in via the sink to wash your hands.

I normally knead my bread dough for around fifteen to twenty minutes until it’s super sexy feeling. Which is, of course, the technical way to do it. None of this window pane bollocks for me. When the dough feels sexy, I stop. It’s hard to explain what sexy feeling bread dough is, but you just kind of know it. It’s a technique which has not let me down, so it’s one I’ll stick with.

It took ages this morning.

Knead a bit, stop kneading, remove any excess dough from hand, move away, sneeze, wipe, bin tissue, wash hands, knead a bit…

You get the idea.

It was the same chopping stuff for the bolognaise. I’m generally quite quick when it comes to chopping. But I couldn’t afford to be today because if there’s one thing I don’t want to do it’s sneeze with a large, sharp knife in my hands. Otherwise it would literally be in my hands.

I think I added a whole new level of danger to all aspects of the food preparation area today.

Still, at least one day of industriousness has meant that tomorrow is kitchen free.

And, by the law of sod, entirely devoid of coughs, sneezes and spread diseases.