Jan 9, 2019: Fringe

I’m not saying that there’s a journalistic barrel being scraped somewhere, but the latest bit of clickbait-esque news I have been offered via my homepage which, remember, gathers stuff from all over is this.


It’s an article from Hello! I guess when they’re not printing pictures of people’s overly swanky houses but with the whole family bunched up on one sofa, they have to provide online content. And for that you immediately look to who has hair over their foreheads. I mean, why wouldn’t you?

The list feature is one of the most prevalent across the whole interweb. It’s everywhere. It’s, I guess, quick and easy content. Some people do it well, others not so much. The ones that include the word “ever” in their lists are the worst, mind. Because there’ll be a list of, say, the top ten best ghost pictures ever. Because obviously I’d look at that. But then there would be another list with a further ten best ghost pictures ever. Meaning that the first ten were not the best ghost pictures ever. They were just ten OF the best ghost pictures ever.

It’s a tricky business, the list. And half of the best ghost pictures ever are laughably ridiculous.

As a side note, I watched a video of the top ten strangest animals caught on camera (or something similar) and one of them was some long-necked creatures crossing a road. The voice-over – somehow keeping a straight face/serious voice – said that this was footage of some sort of small dinosaur similar in shape to a brachiosaur but, obviously, much smaller because they were crossing a road in the footage.

It was a film of some squirrels crossing a road, played backwards.

I mean, for frick’s sake.

Who sees squirrels running and thinks “hey, if we play this backwards we can make it look like they are small dinosaurs.” With long fluffy necks.

Anyway, Royals who rocked a fringe.

It is accompanied by photos of three Royals. And one fringe.

I think as well as avoiding Trump, I might have to start avoiding the MSN news homepage thing. I might just have to set a blank page as my homepage because I don’t how much more of “Remember [insert name], try not to smile when you see her now” every time I browse the internet.

For starters, I don’t know if I’m smiling because they look amazing or because they’ve just gone to shit and I’m a horrible person.

Maybe I’ll write my own clickbait feature, “This Guy Didn’t Know How To React When He Looked At This Website” and see if I can get it featured, legitimately, on the MSN homepage.