Jan 22, 2019: Flake

I’m not sure that the weather really understands its place in today’s society.

I’m not sure that it’s aware of its responsibilities when it comes to social media.

It snowed today. I looked out of the window and it was snowing. Flakes of beautiful whiteness falling from the sky, more or less invisible unless they drifted past the dark green of the conifer that Carole hates.

And then I looked again, maybe a minute later, and it wasn’t snowing. Not at all. It was just as it had been before. Dull, grey and wet. All the magic had gone. There was nothing. No sign of the beauty that a snowfall represents. None of that.

If it snows and it doesn’t get posted on Facebook, though, has it even really snowed?

I mean, I know it did. But I couldn’t share it with everyone and their dog because it didn’t hang around enough.

Not that there was enough to merit any sort of Facebook post. It didn’t stick, it just melted upon landing. If you can’t post a picture of the roof of a car with the slightest snow-based dusting upon it, then you’re just laughed off the service. You’re not allowed back until you’ve made a scathing comment about Dancing On Ice, or shared a short video of LadBaby before they sold out and became increasingly more obvious in their scripting.

So anyway, it snowed a bit. Literally a bit. And then it went.

Funny thing is, when it’s sunny in June for a similar length of time we’re all quick to say that summer’s over. That’s it. That’s all we’ll get. And yet a small flurry of snow and it’s just the start of something terrible that’s going to grip the nation and bring everything to a halt (assuming, of course, that the snow comes before Brexit otherwise the whole halting thing will already have been done).

We’re supposed to be expecting another Beast From The East, like last year. Mainly because someone gave it a catchy name and it seems a shame to waste it on just one event. So now any decent chunk of snow is going to be a Beast From The East. Regardless. It’s just going to be the nomenclature for winter weather.

Makes a nice hashtag, you see. Easier to search for on the socials…