Jan 24, 2019: Package

I think the thing I enjoy the absolute most about taking in parcels for the neighbours is when they don’t come and collect them on the same day.

Especially when I’d hastily sped downstairs as someone banged on the door, only to find no-one there when I opened it because I wasn’t quick enough and he was working his way down the street a bit more.

Sadly, I didn’t shut the door quick enough when faced with no-one there, as he ran back up the road and entrusted me with the package while complaining that now two people had answered the door. I did shout “hang on!” while I was pulling on pants. But then, I did also shout “oh for fuck’s sake!” as well, so I can understand why he might have changed locales.

I don’t know what it is – what the trigger must be – but it seems that all deliveries will arrive while I am upstairs and in some way indisposed as with this morning where I was half in and half out of a pair of pants at the time. I wouldn’t even have rushed except that Carole ordered something yesterday and even though she said it was being delivered to the lockers at work, mistakes do happen (e.g. ending up with COD 4 for no reason whatsoever, for free) so you can never be too careful.

Instead we now have something the size and shape of a cushion, in a plastic bag, lurking by the front door waiting for collection.

I don’t know why it’s at the front door, either, because our neighbour always comes to the back door for some reason. As though she doesn’t want people to see her accepting deliveries. It’s a funny carry on.

Now wait, you may say, it’s late now. She might have come back late and not wanted to disturb you. And yes, that is true. But I saw her about seven hours ago.

Most definitely not collecting her parcel.