Feb 9, 2019: Chair

It’s been some time since furniture last tried to kill me. In fact, prior to this evening, I think the last time anything really happened is a good few years ago when a chair at a friend’s house was suddenly no longer a chair and I hung in mid-air for a moment before plunging to the floor.

Prior to that I was attacked by a kitchen cupboard in a student house.

Tonight I was just sitting at work, watching a game and saying hello to my acting diva colleague as she arrived when my chair no longer had a back on it and, were it not for my amazing balancing skills, I would have fallen off it backwards – all while wearing headphones attached to the monitor we watch the games on, which would probably have joined me on the floor no doubt taking the laptop with it as well.

It wouldn’t have been good, is what I’m saying.

From Addy’s point of view, she heard a noise and saw my leg appear above the level of the screen we have around our desk. I didn’t realise I tipped that far back. But apparently I did.

I could try and make sense of what happened. I think I know. There has been, for a while, a loose bolt on an arm rest on one side of the chair. I think a combination of moving that arm rest, thus pulling the bolt out, and me sitting back in the chair led to my near-death experience.

I have since mended the chair. Possibly to better than it actually was before. I mean, since we got those chairs, parts have fallen off them with alarming regularity. It’s amazing they’ve lasted as long as they have, I think.

When Addy sits in the death chair, as we now know it, she is so small in stature she can lift her legs up and basically sit with her legs on the chair as well. So if it had popped off when she was on it, she’d definitely have gone over the back without the benefit of legs to counterbalance her.

But then, there are also garden birds that weigh more than her, so maybe she would have been fine.