Feb 11, 2019: Guilt

We are currently racked with it.

Well, we were. I think, in all honesty we’ve both moved on.

But for about ten minutes last night we both felt extremely guilty about the death (presumed) of a moth.

Carole opened her wardrobe last night and a moth came out of it. A large moth, which had presumably taken up residence in the wardrobe because it’s some sort of walking, flapping stereotype. It went from wardrobe to front of slipper and just sort of sat there, doing nothing.

So Carole came down the stairs with the moth on the front of her slipper which, had she fallen and we’d had to explain the accident to the emergency would have caused many an eyeroll, I suspect.

I was then presented with the moth by the medium of a foot being shoved in my face.

I scooped it off the shoe, fairly convinced it did at least flap in my hands. And then threw it outside.

This was 24 hours ago.

It’s still exactly where it landed.

So it’s dead. Deader than disco. Deader than a dead thing in a dead competition. It’s dead. An ex-moth.

Did we kill it?

This is the thing that hit us last night. Did we murder the thing by throwing it outside. I mean, if we did, it died almost instantly. Which makes me think it didn’t have much going for it in the first place.

But should we have kept it inside? Carole wanted us to go and retrieve it and bring it back inside. But I drew the line at crawling over our neighbour’s lawn to retrieve a nocturnal insect – I say crawl because it was directly in front of the front room window, so we would be seen in our act of rescue. Or our act of just bringing a dead moth back inside.

I think it was already dead. That’s what I’m going with.

I don’t think it flapped in my hand. I think I just felt it topple from slipper to hand, brushing against my upper palm, That’s all. No life in it. I think it was dead on the slipper.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

But still… when I saw it on the lawn this afternoon as I left for work… I did feel a little bit bad.

And then amazed that none of the cats had eaten it.

And then bad again.