Apparently while I was out at work this evening, a pizza turned up at our door.
Well, not just a pizza. A man holding a pizza, saying that we’d ordered it.
And while Carole sent it away saying that we had not, in fact, made any such request for pizza she also thought that I was in some way responsible for it.
I’m not sure how I feel about that.
She thought that maybe the Just Eat people – because that’s where it had come via – had made some sort of mistake because I ordered a pizza last week. And somehow they’d be delivering a pizza to us every Saturday night until the end of time.
This is not the case for a number of reasons, not least the fact that none of the eateries that are within our area for Just Eat sound very nice, or rate very highly on the 5 star rating system. And that’s before you look at the bit that says the delivery time will be somewhere between 45 minutes and forever.
Bugger that for a game of soldiers.
I’m wondering what would have happened if I had been here and not Carole. I’d probably have sent it away. But there’s a part of me that would have been super-tempted to take it and then, for fear of reprisals, turn off all the lights in the house, pull the curtains and sit in the dark.
Oh, and eat the pizza.
In much the same way as that bag of stuff from Amazon Prime disappeared.
But I don’t know if I should be hurt by Carole thinking I was behind it. That it was my fault. Like I had subscribed to a weekly pizza by accident or something. She thought it was my fault, she said, because it was in a big box. And then she looked at me with a look that says “you get things in big boxes”.
Which is true. I do.
We don’t know where the pizza has gone, though. We don’t know who should have had it. They didn’t come back – to my knowledge – and say, “here, take it anyway we have no idea where it should be going to….” The delivery guy probably sat in his car and ate it and just claimed it had been delivered.
But still, to be accused by your own girlfriend…
… it’s like the origin story for a more junk food based version of the A-Team.