Apr 1, 2019: Spot

I’d love to know what the human body went through during its evolution that bestowed upon it the need to fill ear and nose holes with hair. What is going to get into my ears that hairs growing all over the shop are going to stop. I understand the nose hair to a certain extent. They help to filter out the dust and what-have-you from the air as we breath but what is it that ancestral people of around forty were breathing in that made the body go “you know what, we need more hair…”?

And then there’s the second part of the cruel nose hair joke.

If you happen to pull one of these hairs out either accidentally or on purpose with a strong pull, you run the risk of the most painful thing known to any human being on the face of the planet.

An inside-nose spot.

I mean, what the actual frick human body. Why do you even do this?

In case it’s not clear from the tone of this blog, I’m currently enjoying the constant pain of an inside-nose spot somewhere around the top left of my left nostril. It’s so painful, it’s ridiculous.

And then occasionally the pain subsides, as though I am healing or my body has said, “No, enough is enough. I shall become used to the pain and shield you from it” only for me to rub at my nose and knock it.

At which point I can be found lying on the floor in the foetal position, gently weeping.

I used to think, in my teenage years, that eyebrow spots were the worst thing you could have. Because they really did hurt. But even they were nothing compared to the red hot poker pain of a nose spot slowly growing in your mucus membrane.

And then causing an irritation, which causes you to sneeze or your nose to run, which means you wipe it. And cause more pain to yourself.

The human body is a cruel, cruel thing.