Apr 2, 2019: Cooker

We’re having the new boiler fitted tomorrow because, hey, why hang around with these things and wait for the absolute right moment. Why not just jump straight in and get it done as soon as is humanly possibly.

So that’s happening.

So obviously today it started randomly snowing and hailing, letting me know that I have picked the absolute worst time to get this done and will probably be sitting around tomorrow in a thick jumper and woolly hat. But hey, it’s all about the adventure, isn’t it?

So we’ve pre-emptively emptied a few cupboards along the way to make things easier for tomorrow. Basically anything that’s in the path of the gas pipe we’ve emptied, and then we don’t have engineers digging through the world’s largest collection of bags for life, or hundreds of Tassimo pods which I need to take for recycling but never get round to it.

We need to move the washing machine as well because the gas pipe enters directly behind that but… pfft, the engineer can have a looksee at that tomorrow and we’ll go from there.

Something unrelated to this, but still in the kitchen, so I did it in between things, was cleaning the oven.

We haven’t done it for a while.

And I know that because having now cleaned the oven, I’m fairly sure it’s bigger on the inside than it was before.

I remember doing in before and having that awesome stuff you put in a bag with your oven shelves and it cleans them right up. But I guess it didn’t do such a good job on the inside of the oven. Or we’ve spilt a lot of stuff.

I don’t know what it was. Nor do I want to think about what it was. But I removed so much stuff from the base of the oven. I never realised we couldn’t see the bottom of the oven properly. But apparently we couldn’t. Because I’ve unearthed it today, in the style of an archaeologist in Pompeii but on a more domestic scale.

I guess stuff has dripped – somehow, from somewhere – onto the base of the oven and formed its own layer. I don’t know what it was. I just know it took a bit of elbow grease to shift it. Quite a bit. There were moments when I just thought “stuff it…” and was ready to leave it, but then my pride wouldn’t let me. I

And now I think I’m going to become an oven Nazi. Constantly checking it for stuff. Anything. Any spot, mark, drip or dribble on the base of that oven and it’s game over. The cleaning stuff will be out. I will not rest until it is back to its current glory. Or a bit better.

I think we’ll probably have to stop cooking any foods with any sort of potential for liquid spillage.

That’s the only possible solution.