Apr 11, 2019: Shed

I’ve been in the depths of the shed this afternoon.

It’s that time of year when we start to take everything out of the shed, sort it out and then put it all back in again. And then complain that the shed is full of stuff we don’t need and/or use, but it’s all stuff that we’ve already been through and it just makes no sense to us.

For example, there’s a large plastic tub filled with assorted screws and wotnot. It came from Carole’s dad, and therefore can never be thrown away because that would be rude, but it’s not all that useful, really. Because everything is rusty. Rusty AF as the kids would say. So unless I needed a screw to fit a very specific rusty purpose, it’s unlikely that I would ever use anything from in there.

But it’ll still be there next year.

There are some old fenceposts because… I don’t know why. We took them when next door had her new fence fitted and her no longer-romantically-linked-baby-who-is-now-grown-up-father was doing all the work for her. He offered them and I took them because I am my father’s son, and who knows if some large pieces of semi-rotten wood will come in handy? Oh wait, me. They won’t.

But the best bit -so far, at least – is the top of an old garden table for which, I am 99% sure, we don’t even have the legs. But we’ve kept the top. For reasons. No-one knows those reasons. Carole thinks it might be to use it as a painting table. Except it’s not a table, because it has no legs. it’s just a surface.

On the plus side, though, I have learned that the WiFi signal extends as far as the shed and that I can watch gaming livestreams as I sort things out. Which is pretty awesome. And helps to hide the sounds of next door cutting her grass with scissors or epilating her legs on the back doorstep.